Gray, Revisited

Recently I joined a Facebook group for LDS mutants and allies (a few months ago I had no idea such a thing existed!). Today someone posted something making fun of Cypher, which is an organization that provides support for Latter-day Saints who deal with unnatural power proclivity (presumably named after the X-Man who is purportedly Mormon). The gist of the post, and the ensuing comments thread, was that this organization is the most horrible thing in the world because it encourages Mormon mutants to suppress their abilities rather than embracing them. And I'm just like, "Hey, at least they're talking about mutant issues in a Mormon context, which is something I would have loved to have a few years ago."

The conversation reminded me of yesterday's discussion with Shawn. I feel like some people recognize that they've been blinded by black-and-white thinking their entire life, only to embrace white-and-black thinking instead. Okay, so you've traded "mutant=bad/church=good" for "mutant=good/church=bad." Is that really any better? You're still missing an entire world of grays!

To be honest, I'm not sure how I feel about the church right now, or about mutant stuff, or about anything. But I'd rather be unsure than be an arrogant jerk. Being unsure is just part of being human.

Gray

Life used to be much simpler:

• Mutant powers=Bad. 
• Priesthood power=Good. 
• LDS Church=Right. 
• X-Men=Wrong. 
• Mutant marriage=Not An Option. 
• Lifelong celibacy=As Good As It Gets.

Then Jan came into my life, and now Lucy, and suddenly the lines are blurred. 

But you know what? The black-and-white picture I had of the world was always just an illusion. It's like old, pre-color TV shows. Everyone calls them "black and white," but in reality they're filled with grays. If you only use black and white to make a picture, the best you can do is a two-dimensional cartoon. It's the grays that give life depth. 

To Power or Not To Power

At last night's UUPP meeting, I asked the group what they think of the X-Men. Does the good they do count when they're going against God's will by using mutant powers? The responses I got would make a nice bell curve--in the center of the curve, most everyone felt like God isn't going to judge the X-Men harshly because they're doing their best with the knowledge they have. If they haven't been taught the gospel, they can't be expected to live it, but at least they're living according to the value system they know. Then on either end of the curve, there were a couple of people with more... extreme opinions. One guy doesn't buy the "doing their best with the knowledge they have" thing; he says deep down they know that what they're doing is wrong, but they do it anyway because it gives them a thrill. It's not about helping people, he says, but getting high off their powers. Another guy agreed with him and pointed out that even though not everyone has the gift of the Holy Ghost, everyone has the light of Christ and can tell the difference between right and wrong. On the opposite end of the bell curve was a girl who insisted that there's nothing wrong with using mutant powers. She was quick to explain that she believes in the Church but she also believes that prophets are human and can make mistakes--they were wrong about blacks and the priesthood, she says, so why can't they be wrong about this? She said she's fine with not using her powers while she's at BYU, since she signed the Honor Code, but once she graduates she's going to use her powers to help people, like the X-Men do. Everything went silent after she said her piece, and then we moved on to another topic.

Jan hadn't expressed an opinion during the meeting--which is unusual for her--so I asked her afterwards what she thinks. She said she doesn't know and doesn't care what's right or wrong for other people, she only knows what's right and wrong for her. She has a personal testimony that God doesn't want her to use her mutant power, but she's not going to tell anyone else what God wants for them.

As for me, I can see the value to all the points that were made, but Jan's is the one that rings truest. I've got a pretty awesome girlfriend.

What Would You Do?

I was in the Wilkinson Center dropping off Christmas cards at the post office just now and a bunch of students were gathered around the big TV watching a news report. One of the X-Men groups was in L.A. fighting some super-criminal. I stopped to watch for a minute and some of the comments I heard from people nearby made me feel sick: "Why do they have to do that in public?" "Can't they keep their mutant business to themselves?" "Ugh. That black dyke with the mohawk just ruined women for me." I only heard one guy defending them: "They're using their powers to help people. Who are you to judge?" After that comment, made loud enough for everyone in the room to hear, everyone shut up. Whether they felt guilty for being judgmental or were now silently judging the guy who spoke up, I don't know. I left quickly, afraid someone might catch me checking out Storm on the TV.

I'm thinking about what that guy said. If mutant powers are bad because they don't come from God, but you use them to do good, what does that make you? I don't know.

I do know this: If I were in one of those What Would You Do? videos, I would be the guy who feels sheepish at the end when the host asks him why he didn't step in to defend his fellow human beings. I am a coward.