As promised, Lucy and I visited Jan at the UofU Hospital last night. Even after Greg had described her looking like a ghost, I wasn't prepared to see her in the condition she's in. If I didn't know better, I'd swear she was an old lady. She's lost so much weight that her skin hangs loose off her bones. Her dark eyes get lost in the dark circles that surround them. Her hair is brittle and falling out. She can talk, but the effort seems to exhaust her.
As soon as we entered the room, Lucy sat on the bed next to Jan and took hold of her hand. I sat in the turquoise vinyl chair by the window.
"Thanks for coming," Jan said weakly.
"Are you kidding?" Lucy said. "How many hours did you and Ben spend sitting by me while I was in a bed just like this one?" She smiled at me. "I guess it's your turn next, Ben."
"How are you doing?" Jan asked Lucy.
Lucy beamed. "Never better, thanks to you." At first I thought that was a somewhat tactless reference to Jan dumping me, freeing me up to date Lucy, but then I realized it was nothing so me-centric. Lucy was referring to the healing, of course.
"I'm glad," said Jan. "I want to help more people, but they won't let me."
"You need to help yourself first," Lucy said.
Jan made a slight movement in her shoulders that might have been a shrug. "I don't care about myself."
"Well, we do." Lucy shut her eyes and squeezed Jan's hand. "I just wish I could do for you what you did for me. I wish more than anything I had that power. But I don't, so you need to..." Lucy opened her eyes and looked at me. "But Ben does!"
"What?" I sat up. "No, I don't have the power to heal. All I can do is fly."
Lucy laughed. "You dork. I'm not talking about mutant powers. Give her a priesthood blessing."
I froze. The thought hadn't occurred to me. It would have been the first thing I thought of six months ago, but last night it didn't even cross my mind until Lucy suggested it. I had consecrated oil on me--I keep a vial on my key chain--but was I worthy to give a blessing? I haven't even been sure lately that I believe in the church. Honestly, I didn't even believe that giving her a blessing would make any difference. It hadn't with Lucy.
Jan saved me. "Greg gave me a blessing last night. A male nurse helped him."
Lucy smiled. "Good. Then you'll be just fine."
I looked away. I wished I could believe that.