Wednesday, December 4, 2013

Power Failure

Well, that didn't go as planned. This afternoon, just a few minutes after I got home from class, Greg banged on my door. "Lucy's in the hospital!" A mix of emotions flooded me: fear for my friend, guilt for not thinking of her since meeting Jan the other night, shame for letting a date gone wrong get in the way of my home teaching responsibilities. Lucy had been sick on Sunday and I hadn't followed up to see whether she was better on Monday, just because I felt embarrassed and awkward around her. Now I felt like a big, selfish jerk.

Greg filled me on the way to the hospital: Lucy had been in pain since Friday night, off and on, and this morning she'd started throwing up blood again. She refused to go to the doctor, but when she fainted from blood loss, one of her roommates called 911.

When we got to Lucy's room at Utah Valley Regional Medical Center, her roommate and her parents were in there with her. Lucy was sitting in bed in a hospital gown, looking a little pale but otherwise okay. She had an IV in her wrist. She smiled and said, "Hi Greg!," then looked at me and said hello much less enthusiastically. Her mom, whom I'd met briefly when picking Lucy up on Friday, frowned at me. I could only imagine what Lucy had told her. Lucy's dad, on the other hand, seemed happy to see both me and Greg. He shook our hands and said, "Thank you guys for coming. Will one of you assist me in giving Lucy a blessing?"

"Greg please," Lucy said quickly.

Greg gave me a questioning look, but I just motioned for him to go ahead with the blessing.

I can't say I blame Lucy. I know that having unnatural power proclivity doesn't make me unworthy, but I've gone beyond just having UPP lately. Between proudly proclaiming myself a mutant to anyone who will listen, chasing after relationships God doesn't want me to have, and generally obsessing over the mutant issue, it's like I want my sinful nature to define me. I've been putting the "X" before the "Mormon." And let's be honest--if a man who lusts after a woman has already committed adultery in his heart, then I've committed the sin of using my mutant power every day. Several times a day. I might as well have flown to Paris and back for all I daydream about flying.

Obviously, if I were worthy then the blessing I gave Lucy two weeks ago would have healed her. I told her as much in the blessing, and at the time I believed those words were coming from God. Now I know that was just the wishful thinking of a sinner pretending to speak for God. For Lucy's sake, I'm grateful her father was there this afternoon. He gave her a real blessing, one that will really count because he's actually worthy to use God's power. The doctors are running tests today and expect to have results tomorrow. Lucy's dad promised her in the blessing that she'll be healed of whatever's afflicting her, and I wouldn't be surprised if the test results show she's already healed.

And, just because it's that kind of day, I just realized I'm late for my date with Jan.

No comments:

Post a Comment